The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn

Nights are always the hardest.  You either can't sleep, or you fall asleep and have vivid dreams.  I try to remember that without the lows we wouldn't have the highs, but it's hard.  It's hard to be optimistic when all you want to do is give up.

We Can Learn To Love Again

This is my new favorite song.  

Enjoy.

Just give me a reason 

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again.

Life Goes On.

I think that in times of trial, it's vital to remember that life goes on.  This has been a rough week for me, just being home and getting back and I got dumped and I just switched wards and just all sorts of dumb stuff that happens in life.  One of my friends posted this on facebook, and I thought it was great.  So i'm posting it for you all, because it was exactly what I needed right now, so maybe you will too.

God is there.  And he loves us.  And he sees all the potential we have, even if we don't see it.  I was talking with a friend yesterday, and they explained to me that we as people need to view ourselves by what we can become, not what we are or where we've been.  If we're constantly dwelling on the negative things that happen in our lives, then we aren't going to continue to progress.  It doesn't matter if your an investigator, or if you've been a member you're whole life...as long as you are moving forward, that's all God wants to see.

They say...

They say that nice guys finish last.  So why do we even bother trying?

Bartending

I bartended for the first time on Sunday.  It was quite the adventure.  This is what I learned.

• Customers don't really want good mixed drinks, they want strong ones. 
• You have to learn how to read lips, or you can't hear a single thing.
• Girls are catty.  They want strong drinks, and they want them quick.
• Black people love ciroc and patron.  (The two most expensive drinks on the menu at $10.50 for one!!)
• Drunk people are fun to watch, most of the time.  Their either fun, or they are so ridiculous they should go home.
• Only fat people wear belly shirts to the bar...WHY?!?

Toe shoot to handstand!

I randomly decided to work out last night, and got a new skill! I was so excited.

And when its done.

And when it's done we will walk where the road meets the sun.

Dreams

I had the best dream today while napping on the plane. My girls had regionals in Washington this weekend (which was awesome by the way), so we had to fly home.  In it, I was driving home.  And on the way I saw my family on the side of the road in the car, so I hopped in and we started driving.  And it was wonderful.  All the people I loved were in that car, and I just felt so happy and at peace.  I realized how much I miss my family though.  And wondered if maybe I should be going home.  But then I remember the gym, and how much I love those little girlies.  So for now, i'll stay.  Home is where the heart is...right?

Nostalgia

As i'm sitting here in this almost empty room, I can't help but feel a little funny.  So much has happened in the last two years.  But with that has come change.  Good and bad, but mostly good.  I definantly don't feel like the same person I was two years ago.  Reality has a funny way of changing you.  It makes you bitter, and then it makes you better.  I don't know if anybody agrees, but I definantly like who I am, and who i'm becoming.  It's hard trying to reinvent yourself.  Changing every aspect of myself hasn't been easy.  But has it been worth it?  I guess we'll find out.  I used to listen to "Your Ex Lover Is Dead" by Stars.  In there is a lyrics, and it says "Live through this and you won't look back".  You find strength in your struggles.  And we all have them.  But in the end, you always learn a valuable lesson.  Not saying it won't be hard, but in the end, it will be worth it.

Change

So i've been thinking a lot lately.  About the past, and about what is to come.  I'm by no means a writer, but I realized that I've never written in a journal or anything.  And i'd like to have something to look back on.  So thus this blog was born.  I don't have a very creative name, but i'll change the title of the blog when I come up with something.  I don't know if anyone will read this, but if they do, cool.  If not, it's more for me than anything, so that is alright too.


My life right now...I'm working at Madison Gymnastics Center.  I coach the Girls Team level 3-8 basically, and I love it.  Despite all the ups and downs, it has by far been my favorite part about living here in Rexburg. These little girls that I coach feel like my second family.  All of my actions and plans are based around them...and I love that.  I wouldn't trade it for anything at this point in time.  I also teach preschool here, and that has been such an awesome learning experience for me.  It has been so cool to watch my little class go from struggling with letters to basically reading simple words.  That's another thing I wouldn't trade.  I am lucky to have found a job that I love.

I rock climb all the time.  I'm sort of obsessed.  My body isn't as willing to do gymnastics anymore, so it was so nice to find something that I enjoy equally as much.  It's hard to climb around my work schedule, but that's another one of those things that I can live with.  We last weekend went to the city of rocks, and although it was rainy and we only got one climb in, it was still awesome.  Standing on top of a rock, looking out at the horizon...I feel infinite.  Like I can do, or overcome anything.  And trust me, overcoming certain things has been so hard for me these past few years, but rock climbing makes me feel like I have the strength to do it.  I love the sport, and I love that you get to be in nature and meet all sorts of cool people.  One of my climbing inspirations is Dean Lords.  He is the athlete manager for the north american team for mammut.  And him and his wife are seriously the nicest, coolest couple i've ever met.  My climbing definantly changed after meeting them, and I definantly am inspired by the both of them.  Another cool climbing friend i've met is Joe Crane.  He has traveled so many cool places and gotten to climb.  And he always ends up back in Rexburg.  I definantly want to be like the both of them one day...but i'm not ready to trade my little girls team for traveling the world quite yet.  So i'll just listen to their stories for now.

I'm studying Elementary Education at Brigham Young University.  Although my school career has been on and off, I love this school so much.  I literally feel that if I had gone anywhere else for college, I would not be the person I am striving to be today.  Rexburg sort of saved me, if that makes sense.  Although the winters suck, and people can be difficult, I really do enjoy it.

 It's been a roller coaster, for sure, but I feel as though everything is finally starting to settle down.  I'm dating a guy names James now, and it's probably the first healthy relationship i've ever been in.  He inspires me to be better without even trying.  He's so driven and has a plan of how he wants his life to be.  And he knows everything about the gospel (which I struggle with).  I felt the need to bring him up, because it's starting to be a changing point in my life I guess.  Not that our relationship is getting that serious, but just the relationship in general is an eye opener.  I don't know if we will work out, but i'm realizing that I don't have to sacrifice anything (time, morals, hobbies) in order to get someone to date me.  I can just be me, and that's enough.  I like that, but it's definantly a weird concept for me, and it's taking some time getting used to.

Anyways, other then that, nothing noteworthy has happened as of recent.  That's basically what's going on with me right now though in a nutshell. So i'll keep posting things as