Anyone who knows me knows that I hate thinking about the future. That it scares the crap out of me. And often times, if I'm talking to someone and they ask me what i'm thinking, I will just say Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness...because that is a lot less scary then actually admitting what i'm thinking or feeling. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have been struggling with a decision that I think could affect my future in a pretty big way. I have an answer though, it's just one that I don't exactly want to accept...that being said, I think it's so important to trust in the Lord. But for some reason I struggle with that concept still. Don't get me wrong, i'm trying my hardest to follow what I feel he wants for me, but I am struggling to understand why he wants that for me. I found this scripture last night, "But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love (2 Nephi 1:15). I really feel as though my life is one big second chance. I love the Lord, and I know he loves me, but I really struggle in trusting him as much as I should. So I guess I will have to work on that.
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